


A Beautiful Lie

by Gloomier



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Kakashi is kind of an arrogant perv, Kekkei Genkai | Bloodline Limit, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Secrets, Sexual Content, Silly, but not in the asshole way, with genjutsu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 15:09:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19748239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gloomier/pseuds/Gloomier
Summary: Kakashi had a list of possible reasons why the Hokage might call him to his office, but being appointed as an exam proctor for Umino Iruka’s jounin exam wasn’t one of them.





	A Beautiful Lie

**Author's Note:**

> This idea just wouldn't leave me. Without spoiling the fun, I saw a couple of similar fics, but nothing quite like this for kakairu. Makes me want to write a more serious plot-driven version, but no promises. This also wasn't supposed to end up on the lewd side. It was supposed to be interesting and silly, maybe a dash of cute, but Iruka kicked the door open and fucked it all up. His usage of genjutsu is totally legit. Idiot. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://tea-blitz.tumblr.com/)

Kakashi shuffled awkwardly, his single visible silver eyebrow lowered in confusion.

_What?_

“Can you please repeat that, Hokage-sama?”

Hiruzen took a drag from his pipe, the smoke escaped out his nose as he spoke, making him look more like a dragon than a human. “You will be one of the proctors for Umino Iruka’s jounin exam.”

Which was by far the strangest thing Kakashi had heard in a long time. Iruka had been determined back then, after that botched mission they were on, to become a teacher. He not only went on to become a teacher but he turned out to be one of the best teachers Konoha had, although Kakashi would hardly shout his praises for the academy teacher from the rooftops. That would be weird.

“Umino Iruka made his intentions pretty clear back then. He wanted to pass on the will of fire to the younger generations. What has him motivated to go for jounin?” Kakashi questioned.

“It’s time,” Hiruzen replied simply in that frustratingly mysterious way of his. Kakashi enjoyed being vague most days, but the Sandaime took it to a whole new level.

Iruka had to know that ascending in rank meant he would no longer be able to teach.

Worst of all, Kakashi liked puzzles and mysteries far too much to let this particular enigma go.

Kakashi sighed. “What do you need me to do?”

*

It wasn’t very often that Kakashi allowed himself to be on time for something—or early for that matter. Those good manners were reserved for important missions (anything ranked A and above) or an emergency.

He stretched himself out like a cat on the branch he had claimed for himself. Several trees were surprisingly occupied by several curious jounin, he even spotted a few ANBU lurking in the shadows. Word had made it around the upper ranks that the beloved Iruka-sensei was going to take the exam. The combat assessment was the only part of the exam people were allowed to observe.

Shikaku and Hiruzen stood next to each other on the ground, quietly talking amongst themselves as they waited for Iruka to show up. It wouldn’t be long now.

Kakashi’s mind wandered back to the mystery.

Some would say that using one's rank to read the personnel files of fellow shinobi was a gross misuse of power. Kakashi disagreed. It was good to know who your comrades were, and a little good-natured investigation made good shinobi (Kakashi loved testing the village’s internal security from time to time too). Kakashi knew nothing about Iruka. It was callous to say, yes, but he never really cared enough to know more about the man and they hardly qualified as acquaintances. Kakashi couldn’t just pop into existence and demand Iruka spill his whole life story.

Umino Iruka’s profile revealed very little despite how thick his file actually was—a good three inches at least. Two hours going through that file alone exposed Umino as a reformed masterclass troublemaker. One that Naruto could only hope to live up to. It was baffling to read all the incident reports. The pranks were not only elaborate but well thought out and executed. ANBU would have been absolutely giddy to have him amongst their ranks.

Then Kakashi found the second file. _Oof._

Suffice it to say, all Kakashi learned from his investigation was that Iruka was a certified hellraiser. The few mundane things Kakashi _actually_ learned about Iruka boiled down to Iruka’s age (huh, he was only a year younger than Kakashi), his elemental affinity (fire—which still came as a surprise considering the man’s name), and that he was strongest in taijutsu closely followed by ninjutsu, with his genjutsu being a little on the mediocre side. There wasn’t any listed weapon preferences or any specialty jutsu. Aside from his sordid past, Umino Iruka was _boring._

Which was fair, he supposed. Not everyone was Hatake Kakashi, son of the White Fang, blah blah blah fucking blah. Not to toot his own horn, but he just had another page added for himself in the bingo book, bringing the count up to three.

But none of it mattered anyway, because at the end of the day he still hadn’t gotten any further on Iruka’s motivations for wanting a promotion. Kakashi was fantastic at sniffing out facts and his utter failure at it now was beginning to bruise both his pride and his ego.

All he wanted to do was mope his frustrations away.

Kakashi shoved a hand in his hip pouch, fingers curling around the familiar and worn spine of Icha Icha Mystery, intent on doing just that when a figure shunshinned into the ANBU training field reserved for Iruka’s jounin combat test. Kakashi looked up toward the sun, squinting as he checked its position. Iruka was exactly five minutes early.

Kakashi got to his feet and stretched one last time, then launched himself from the tree branch to drop down next to Shikaku.

Iruka spared Kakashi a fleeting glance, eyebrows raised a little in curiosity, as Shikaku addressed him.

Rude.

Well, not as rude as Kakashi blatantly giving Iruka a once over. It might be true that Umino was boring as hell according to his record (well, the adult portion of his history anyway) but his body sure as hell didn’t reflect that. He must have been blind the last time he had any sort of interaction with the teacher because there was no way he would have missed those _thighs._

_Would not mind getting—_

“The time limit is two hours. You will fight until either time runs out, or one of you is incapacitated. The fight will stay within the bounds of the training field. Anything goes, barring death. Questions?” Shikaku drawled.

Right, test. He could fantasize about spectacular thighs later. _Get it together Hatake._

“I’ll be up against Hatake-san?” Iruka asked curtly before sweeping his eyes back over Kakashi.

He could see the tiny sparks of determination igniting in the other man’s eyes. Iruka was one-hundred percent serious about taking this test.

Kakashi returned the stare with his own faux-disinterested look.

“Yeah, you’ll be fighting Kakashi,” Shikaku confirmed.

Without another word Iruka turned on his heel, turning his back on the Hokage, Shikaku, and Kakashi, and walked a short distance away before turning back around to stare expectantly at Kakashi.

The Sandaime was already moving back a safe distance. Before Shikaku moved back to join their leader, he clapped a hand on Kakashi’s left shoulder, uttering a quiet and smug “good luck.”

That was weird.

Kakashi didn’t particularly like the way Shikaku said good luck. Just because it’d been a long time since he last did this, Kakashi was no pushover. He didn’t need luck. Luck was a lie, a figure of speech to make lesser skilled people feel better. So Kakashi rolled his eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets, and ignored the jounin commander as he started forward toward Iruka.

Kakashi moved slowly, not quite ready to get the show going. He’d needle Iruka a bit.

“You know, I saw your file. It was kind of boring.”

Umino’s eyes flashed with irritation for a split second, the rest of his face gave no indication that he was was affected.

“You looked at my file?” Iruka replied neutrally, raising a dark eyebrow in askance.

Kakashi shrugged. “I’m really curious why someone such as yourself is interested in becoming jounin.”

Iruka smirked.

Kakashi hated it because it meant that Iruka had something to hold over Kakashi’s head. He didn’t like not knowing, it complicated things. Being at a disadvantage was dangerous.

“I’m not just going to give away all my secrets, Hatake-san. Maybe I’ll tell you later.”

That sounded like a challenge, even if it wasn’t explicitly worded as such. He liked challenges. Kakashi watched Iruka’s smirk widen into a grin. He’d bet an entire month’s pay that Iruka’s mouth would look fantastic on…

Kakashi stubbornly refused to let his body shudder at the mental image his brain created.

“Maa, Iruka-sensei, how about a wager,” Kakashi proposed while he tapped a finger against his chin in faux contemplation.

“I’m listening.”

Maybe it was a kinda mean going along with this, considering the odds were stacked a little unevenly in Kakashi’s favor, but he couldn’t help it. Kill two birds with one stone and all that. Kakashi was infinitely glad that he wore a mask because he wasn’t sure whether or not his smile was borderline lecherous.

“If I win, you have dinner with me and you fill me in on all the secrets your file is apparently missing.”

“And if I win?” Iruka asked, clearly amused by the proposition.

“I’ll let you decide on your prize. Sound fair?”

Iruka rested his hands on his waist and let his gaze drop the ground while he mulled it over for a moment, then looked back up at Kakashi. “Alright, you have a deal.”

“Excellent!” Kakashi smiled, giving Iruka a Gai-esque thumbs up. “Good luck Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka huffed a laugh, shaking his head lightly.

Kakashi reached back into his hip pouch and removed Icha Icha Mystery. It was a tried and true tactic that always seemed to piss people off; it made them overconfident and stupid. Kakashi loved it. Just as he was getting ready to open the book to where he left his bookmark, he watched Iruka drop into a defensive stance and—

Oh, _fuck._

Kakashi’s fingers clamped down around the hardcover of his book.

Familiar black comma-like tomoe swirling lazily in blood red irises stared back at him.

That… There were a lot of possibilities Kakashi had been throwing around in his head, but this wasn’t ever going to be one of them. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for shinobi to occasionally leave things of their personal files, but this—there was no way in hell something like _this_ could be so well hidden from the village.

But it had been.

It had been a better-kept secret than Naruto having the nine-tails sealed within him.

Kakashi’s ears tweaked, picking up surprised gasps and heated murmuring coming from the trees. The onlookers had also taken notice of Iruka’s Sharingan.

Fuck. Well, that was definitely a surprise. Before that little discovery, there had only been three people with Sharingan left after the Uchiha massacre. Clans with dojutsu kekkei genkai had a stranglehold over who married into their clan, the children born in the clan, etc... The bottom line was no blood went unaccounted for. Hyuga and Uchiha kept very detailed records of their family line.

How did Umino Iruka end up with Uchiha blood, let alone be fortunate enough to inherit the Sharingan?

Kakashi had no time to contemplate that thought much further as Iruka rushed him. The time for talk and wasteful thinking was over.

Kakashi lept away, dodging Iruka’s attack, and pulled his headband up as he landed a safe distance away, revealing Obito’s Sharingan.

He was, in essence, fighting a foe he knew nothing about. Someone who obviously had the Sharingan for a while too, Kakashi guessed. He may have even had some training before the Uchiha were all murdered whereas Kakashi didn’t have the luxury. The clan had been angry with him, maybe it was because Obito’s death was on his hands or that they thought he stole the eye for himself. Fugaku had allowed him to keep Obito’s eye, despite his friend’s parent’s wishes that he give it back.

So Kakashi was a self-taught Sharingan user.

Only Kakashi wasn’t sure he could keep up constant Sharingan usage for two hours against a potentially skilled Sharingan user that had both eyes.

Iruka came at him again and Kakashi let him get close. He blocked a series of hard-hitting kicks and punches that could rival Gai’s, momentarily making Kakashi question whether or not Iruka had been training with the green-spandex-wearing man. Every single one of Iruka’s movements was both precise and elegant.

Iruka jumped away, putting space between them again, but this was a serious test and Kakashi would not make it easy for Iruka, even if he had both his fancy eyes.

Where Iruka’s hits were slower and more powerful, Kakashi was best known for his speed. He closed the distance between them with a break-neck speed that put quickly put Iruka off balance. Iruka gasped and threw his hands up to block the vicious strike to his sternum, but wasn’t quite quick enough to intercept the hit. He grunted and hopped back a few steps. Kakashi followed through with a leg sweep. Iruka made to dodge but got caught up at the end of the attack and fell to the ground.

It was clear that Iruka hadn’t fought against many enemy shinobi, but aside from that, his taijutsu seemed to be a lot stronger than the man’s file led him to believe.

Kakashi didn’t stop. He pulled a kunai, flipping it into his preferred reverse grip, and pounced on the prone man. Iruka rolled away at the last possible second and Kakashi’s blade sunk into the dirt. Iruka was on his feet again and had a kunai in hand.

From that point, the fight changed considerably. Iruka had only let himself be caught off guard the one time. He saw, predicted, and countered all of Kakashi’s movements with such grace that it made Kakashi jealous. Every movement was well-timed and unwasted, it was so different from the way Iruka had fought on the one mission they had been on together a couple of years ago. It had been wrong. It had been a lie.

And if Kakashi had let himself get distracted by Iruka’s form… Well, no one had to know the real reason he let himself nearly get pummeled by an earth jutsu Iruka copied from him.

They were nearing the end of hour one when Iruka finally showed off his genjutsu skills.

Iruka juked another attempted grapple, then countered with one of his own that had Kakashi landing on his back hard with Iruka pinning him to the ground. Kakashi’s arms were held above his head, much of Iruka’s weight rested on his midsection, and Iruka’s shins pressed down into his thighs.

Then Kakashi looked up into Iruka’s eyes.

It was such an expectedly ingenious turn of events that Kakashi let it happen. Let it be known that Iruka’s genjutsu skills were nothing short of imaginative. Kakashi’s blatant ogling of Iruka before the combat assessment began did not, in fact, go unnoticed. Iruka abused it to his complete advantage as he used his Sharingan to weave his illusion.

The training field melted away, giving way to a dark room with soft, flickering candlelight. Kakashi was naked and laid out on a bed, arms restrained above his head. Even his mask was gone, and he wondered when Iruka had gotten the chance to see what others could only ever dream of.

A kneeling Iruka materialized between his legs then. Infuriatingly, the teacher was fully clothed in his regulation blues, flak jacket and headband were nowhere to be seen. His lips curled into a sensual smile that made Kakashi’s blood boil. 

Fuck he was hot.

Iruka laid a hot palm on Kakashi’s naked, pale thigh and dragged his fingers up along the length of it, making him shiver.

“You have some interesting ideas, Hatake-san,” Iruka said in a low, gravelly voice. One that effortlessly made Kakashi achingly hard.

Fuck.

“C-can you blame me?” Kakashi stuttered, his entire body twitched as a thumb swiped across the boundary of silver pubic hair. “This is a very good genjutsu, by the way.”

Iruka huffed a laugh. “We hardly know each other and already you want to fuck me into the mattress. Very presumptuous of you.”

“You’re really fucking hot—” Kakashi moaned as the hot hand closed around his cock “—and I wouldn’t have an issue with _you_ fucking _me_ into the mattress either.”

Iruka chuckled and rewarded Kakashi by firmly stroking his cock. “You would look truly obscene with my cock up your ass, Kakashi.”

“Fuck!” Kakashi’s head fell back against the pillow as he groaned and bucked his hips up, pushing his cock into Iruka’s hand.

“So tell, me how would you have me?” Iruka said conversationally like he wasn’t giving Kakashi the best handjob of his life in a Sharingan-fueled illusion.

“I-I... Fuck! Ah, I’d want you to ride me. Your fucking thighs are divine, and I’d want to touch them while you fuck yourself on my cock.”

“A thighs man, not bad,” Iruka smirked as he twisted his wrist just so, pulling a whine from Kakashi. “I like asses myself, and you have a pretty amazing one. I’d have you on your hands and knees. I’d lick you open first—spread you wide and devour you until you fall apart. Then I’d fuck you, slowly, into your second orgasm.”

Oh god, yeah he had a thing for dirty talk. Especially if it was coming out of Iruka’s mouth in _that_ voice. Kakashi keened loudly as his orgasm engulfed him. He felt a little embarrassed by how quickly fake Iruka was able to pull him apart.

The illusion fell apart then too and Kakashi blinked his eyes a couple of times, refocusing them. He was no longer pinned to the ground by a hot Umino Iruka (which was regrettable), but he was leaning up against a tree with his hitai-ate pulled back over his Sharingan. His pants were also a mess. Kakashi hadn’t had a wet dream in a very long time.

“So I think I won,” said a very smug sounding Iruka lounging against the same tree just to Kakashi’s right.

“I’d say that you did, in more ways than one,” Kakashi replied easily. He blamed his casual attitude about losing on genjutsu-Iruka bringing him to a fantastic orgasm.

Iruka chuckled and Kakashi’s mind immediately supplied the image of fake Iruka. He was powerless against the shudder of want that wracked his body.

Kakashi let his head droop to the side so he could stare at Iruka, whose Sharingan was hidden again. “So you won. What boon does the victor claim?”

Iruka angled his head toward Kakashi, the unmistakable look of want was in his eyes.

“I’ll take you up on dinner. Whether or not I reveal my secrets, however, is another matter,” Iruka said in that cock-hardening low and gravelly voice that could easily drive Kakashi to insanity. Iruka shifted and leaned over toward Kakashi, his warm breath puffed against Kakashi’s mask as he murmured, “Whatever happens after dinner—I wouldn’t mind exploring.”

It was a surprise that Kakashi’s brain didn’t explode because his body was all but vibrating in anticipation. He licked his lips, the movement behind the cloth of the mask caught Iruka’s attention.

“How about tonight then?” Kakashi suggested hoarsely.

Iruka managed to lean even closer, so close that all Kakashi had to do was tilt his head a fraction of an inch to the right for their lips to meet.

“Eager to get fucked into the mattress, huh?”

“Yes,” Kakashi breathlessly replied. “And maybe I’ll teach you all kinds of interesting jutsu we can use. You won’t have any issues remembering them, I’m sure.” he finished with a grin, tapping at the metal part of his headband, above where his own Sharingan was hiding.

Iruka’s face reddened, which was a wonder how he could act so sultry and not be embarrassed at his own shamelessness. He apparently drew the line at other people’s shamelessness.

“We could, uh, make it an early night. I could cook us something,” Iruka suggested, clearly trying his best not to trip over his words.

“Or I could have you for dinner.” Kakashi offered, narrowing his visible eye lecherously. As close as they were, Kakashi could see the effect his words had on Iruka.

Then Iruka’s lips were on his, and Kakashi scrambled to pull his mask down. The kiss was hungry and it spoke of promise. He wanted to devour and be devoured. Kakashi swiped his tongue against Iruka’s bottom lip, who gave way immediately only to invade Kakashi’s own mouth. Iruka’s hand found its way to the nape of his neck and he slipped his fingers into the silvery hair he found there, giving him a better way to control the kiss, deepening it.

Kakashi’s hands found purchase on Iruka’s flak jacket and hefted the teacher into his lap, situating him so that he was straddling Kakashi. He let his hands grope and pet Iruka’s lovely thighs. He’d coo at them if his mouth wasn’t full of Iruka.

Sadly, Iruka detached himself from Kakashi’s face, but it was a worthy sacrifice to see Iruka look so debauched just from a little making out. Kakashi wanted to see what a thoroughly fucked Iruka looked like too.

“Early dinner it is,” Iruka decided between taking in short gasps of air.

“You’re a genius.”

And the next day, when they’ve both been fucked into exhaustion, the Hokage’s messenger hawk pecked at the window with the results of Iruka’s exam.

The ensuing celebratory sex was nothing short of fantastic.


End file.
